Independence
Letting go of past relationships by keeping them
Letting go of past relationship juju can be difficult, particularly when you decide to maintain an active friendship. Many say keeping a relationship after romance is impossible or even a recipe for disaster, but I beg to differ. I find it harder to unlove someone than to stick with that person through thick and thin.
I give it my all without regret when I am in a relationship. If it doesn't work out, I may be devastated for some time, but eventually, I can let go, and when I do, I can share in any friend's joys, trials, and tribulations. I don't know, but I think this is the meaning of true, unadulterated love - to celebrate the success of others.
The rationale for my perspective is that the foundation of any relationship for me is a part of trust in friendship. If you are my friend, I believe in you and being there through thick and thin. I expect the same in return.
Friendship, for me, is the foundation of romantic love. If romantic love doesn't work out, then I am still net positive in friendship, and if my feelings were valid and there was no harm, just a mismatch, that's just the luck of the draw.
I recently saw an ex-boyfriend who has experienced some success, and I couldn't be more pleased about their journey. There is no resentment harbored; it just didn't work out. I'm mystified when the baby is thrown out with the bathwater of dating. I assure you that maintaining a friendship doesn't hold me back from meeting others, but we are all unique beings; that is what works for me.
It pleases me to celebrate the success of someone I care about romantically or platonically. The investment of emotional and physical resources should not go unnoticed or forgotten. There were no mistakes for me in getting to know someone, just differences between needs and wants. I can say this without reservation. I'm confident that good juju will return to the universe by practicing openness and compassion in developing, maintaining, and continuing to foster positivity and, in so doing, gaining an independent mindset of choice in how to react or respond to past relationships.
Excellent piece Michelle! Pretty sure a lot of people haven’t thought of relationships in this way. I hope people reading this might think differently.. a very enlightening perspective!
But underneath it all, you are secure in who you are. You know your values. And you see the bigger picture of Life. It must be so freeing to own those experiences. Without regret.
I’m inspired by you.